Welcome to Paradise

 

Y en esta hora fría, en que la tierra

trasciende a polvo humano y es tan triste,

quisiera yo tocar todas las puertas,

y suplicar a no sé quien, perdón,

y hacerle pedacitos de pan fresco

aquí, en el horno de mi corazón...!

CÉSAR VALLEJO 

(1892-1938)

 

 

 

 

   - that Casino style justice system... 

   - the business of slave traders … 

   - the human slaughter house...

 

Chana Tova 5772...reach Folsom and Alhambra... pool opens at 6...STARBUCKS ...4 AM...open...when in need will not shun which normally shunned ... you’ll be tolerant... accept the unacceptable...coffee strong...deprived for 7 days...45 cents refill...

 

released at 3 AM on I Street...2 gigantic rats scavenging under the busty star strutted sac sky ...swept by a swift fall breeze...sudden gusts and …

 

   - if you agree, you walk...tonight...

   - ...

   - you understand, you wave your constitutional rights...

   - yes your honor 

   - will no longer... call a jury

   - yes your honor

   - ...

   - you will be released … 

   - thank you...your honor 

   - (you don't have to thank me...)

 

you’re out...inmate no longer...out-mate... on Rosh Hashanah 5772... you’re out...out on a leash...

out there at night...on Rosh Hashanah ...5772...at 3AM...

 

   - face the wall...

6 foot 5 gray haired deputy throws chest out Clark Gable style...ironed light blue shirt ...clean shaved.... deodorant pungent...

   - face the wall...

to a battery of  lenses behind disguised window panes...to high-resolution cameras,  sensors monitoring cardiovascular signals...

   - face the wall...

...pheromones...electrodermal & respiratory activity ...

   - sir, may I make a request...

   - after the finger prints & DNA mouth smear... 

...criminal science... his passion...exposing false facts found in crime investigations...on tv shows...

   - they never get it right

 ...a reality show host himself... his chest exploding …

   - yes sir

   - my cell mate, Oxford,  Val, 72 yr old Vietnam vet hard of hearing reformed alcoholic and only true American here, a Navajo Indian, he needs protection and taken home safely, I beg you to do everything in your power …

   -  yes sir...

   - Val, Oxford, Val...

   - last time...

   - Oxford. What is Betsy's number?

   - we went out it was raining …they offered us a  plastic sheet...

   - Oxford?

   - I don't want them to call her.

 

signing out 4th floor west...paunchy deputy Lucky duck like nods behind his bomb proof cubicle... 

   - how old are you...

   - he is 72 sir...

   - and you?...

   - 55...

   - you shouldn’t be in here ...

   - not of our own making, sir

   - good luck sir

 

called soon as sitting down in bible meeting...got to believe in something...stretch legs... 

   - firstly...

   - thank you...

 

“I gotta ice box

where my heart

used to be”  

stub penciled inside slammer door 3...

 

 THE MORE YOU ASK TO GO TO THE FLOOR THE LONGER YOU STAY DOWN HERE...in blood red sans serif down white hallway wall...you enter the confines of hell... follow the yellow line...

   - you better don’t want to be here....

   - ‘s over like...

   - this 's a new slave trade ’s all about money, bro...

   - bros lying head to foot...all over floor...wall to wall

   - I’m a thief...having the good life...

   - ah...second generation pimp...last week in Vegas...

 

we’re all felons now...a different race...we’re on a slave ship head to foot...the law of the jungle penciled over walls & doors...inside slammer...floor to ceiling...

   - bb...is a snitch

   - cc...is a rat

   - snitch & get out...

   - you're marked...seek you...find...you...

   - take you to pen and & buy yr own way out...

   - ’s all ‘bout big bucks

   - I hear you...

   - ’s all ‘bout 3 N...nonviolent...nonsexual...non…

   - take you  to pen & buy yr own way out bro

   -  ...’s all bout big bucks ...ah

   - I hear you bro

  - 's all 'bout 3 N

   - nonviolent

   - nonsexual

   - non...

   - ...abusive

   - 's all ‘bout...

 

...rats rats rats...scurry across entrance ...magnificent sandstone box-like building in gray at night...chill gusts girls boys bros cigarette bushes bums curled on vent ... taxis, all Jordanian drivers standing around...

   - no, not good enough money

   - ...

   - not enough prisoners

   - ...

   - prisoners not rich enough...

 

 

   - Allons enfants de la patrie… 

dep lowers window ...cool night breeze  past the brick building housing the pool...the seat butt-molded plastic & hard...shackles are loose...twist hand back in place...Martian Chronicles...cruiser descends the cavernous underground parking garage of county jail... the belly of a star-ship docking station...lead from the cruiser...

 

   - sit...

ceremoniously... in the trenches... a psalm...

   - ...you have the right to remain silent...

the delivery room...

   - belt off...

   - ...shoe laces off...they will cut them...if you don’t

   - good man... good family...

  - thank you sir...

peels off white cotton sports cap ...stares at yarmulke underneath...steps back ...

   - rise... do exactly as told...past that door...inside they don’t kid...they won’t treat you kindly if you don’t...

...the bounty hunter watches...past metal detector... improvised cubicle ...cameras on tripods covered by black cloth...

   - look at the camera... 

   - at the lens...

   - ...turn to side

yarmulke mug shot on Shabbot... could be worse...soon the next rooky will demand...

   - your funny hat...take it off

 

 

the ante room to hell ... 3 solid wooden benches anchored in floor & wall seat 5 – 6 felons each.. heavy iron barred door rolls sideway...stainless steel toilet bowl in one corner cast solidly into floor  & wall... a water fountain on top...Hindu doctor from Trinidad walks into pen pissed off …

   - I was having dinner with my wife...police pick me up...they had a warrant...

   - how come?

   - for lying to the medical board...

Daniel curls on bench … a clipped winged angel ...

   - a doctor? Don't you have an oath...

   - I lied...it was 1.3 alcohol...I said 1.2...yes...I lied...I cleared it...

   - he will go to hell, who did this to you...

   - yes he will

   - they made mistake, too...a felony too much ... will take them to court...

   - got 2 felonies...they made mistake...got 2 felonies...50000 bail

bail bonds man...

   - sorry...can’t help you

   - said it was my stash 

   - good luck sir

   - meth

   - but it was over the fence

He opens his arm revealing the needle marks. 

   - dude...

   - don't try it, ever...

   - you'll get out

   - yeah...

   - never again, I swear...

...hope bargained for free...

   - habeas corpus.. 

   - uhum...u-hum ...

   - but you will be out

   - good luck sir

 

a ragged Mexican stumbles in in socks... drunk...his eyes wild with incomprehension & fear slumping on the bench...his tousled black hair filthy...his dark rags mud splattered smelling of sewer... disappears into the drunk tank... 

 

...felons in prison pants and t-shirt having certain freedom of movement others don’t...we won’t... the trustees...they clip a wristband on...your name, number, mug shot, code bar, race...

deputies watching... stretching their gloves ready for action...ball players...

   - follow the yellow line

   - sit here, TB blood test...

down corridor the hallway to hell...recidivist guiding...chuckles down hallway

   - ...?

   - ...basketball at spouse... claims hit her head

   - ha ha ha...

 

round a corner...six box like cubicles...urinals...

   - throw your clothes in that brown paper bag

   - your hat...the funny hat...take it off

   - stand against the wall

naked we’re are all equal...rooky stretches blue rubber gloves over fingers down his wrist

   - lift your balls...raise your balls

   - turn ‘round...lean forward

   - open your butt...

   - stretch it open

   - cough 

   - cough

   - cough

   - …

   - show your assholes... want to see your  assholes

   - Ah  Ah ! 

   - shut up 

   - hydrate bro hydrate ...six glasses of water a day...

   - here...one white cotton slip...what’s your size..

   - ?...

   - ...guy’s from Europe

   - ...looks like 10

white cotton socks...orange sneakers...orange pocket less cotton pants (SAC CO)PRISONER down pant legs...white cotton T shirt...2 gray woolen blankets

   - 2?

   - the ventilation, da frio...

 white cotton towel...spoon handled white plastic toothbrush 2 inches long pierced barely hold between thumb and index...finger-long tube of Dawn Mist Toothpaste made in Malaysie for Uncle Sam. Donovan Ind. Cavity Fighting Formula/ Mint Flavored/ Sodium Monofluoroxide phosphate 0,76%... a pocket comb paper-thin...

SAC CO PRISONER...

   - stand in line...shoulder to wall...  

   - hands inside pants...

   - hands inside your pants

   - like this

   - face the wall 

   - going up

   - 8th floor

...cell doors crash open to vociferous violent prisoners screaming  at recreation underneath tvs high up on the wall screaming like animals...shoved inside cell #02...slam... no clock outside...a dark figure covered under the gray blanket on lower bunk...

   - Hi...

   - Soy Cholo...ola..

   - ola...Juan...

   - Mexicano?

   - ...de Oaxaca...

an idol from the tropics...an Olmec Monte Alban curled under his gray blanked shivering... laying down upper bunk thinking of the conundrum under the never ceasing drumming ventilation... hum...grind... fellow felons DSK...ASSANGE...Polansky... Voltaire...Casanova...Dostoevsky... Vallejo...whose pedigrees you join... here in maximum security... they never let you out...never... ever

 

   - EAT

   - EAT

   - EAT

the box slams open...food trays shoved in like to zoo animals...reconstituted egg...frozen microwaved hashed potatoes...canned fruit salad...oat meal...cardboard flavored oranges...Toto stares... won’t touch food...

   - me va por vomitar (ready to throw up)

back out through the clap...the trays destined for dogs...the rising sun setting the time...the drab construction zone to the east...pigeons shit...across slits of sound & shatterproof double glass...outside ...more pigeons...flying rats...preening...aristocrats...free...never ever let you out...

 

...blaring of the tv in mess...sleep deprivation...the screams of invisible prisoners...the tapping on the wall...the Morse signals of hell

 

...graffiti calendars, 3 D calendars... dates struck out... weeks...months...the naked woman open-legged... a slit...large breasts... faceless penciled head thrust back... zetas... Michoacanos ...urbanos... colombianos... 

 

“do pumps...

do sit-ups...

shadow boxing”

 

the perfect gangster behind dark glasses handkerchief over chin...fearless...gun in hand point blanc

   - Que hora es?

 

“Mc Puff was here 

Mc Puff...

 is queer”

 

   - me va por vomitar(ready to throw up)

oat meal...canned fruit salad...slice of brownish bread...bean soup...salads...bean sauce & rice... & macaroni...corn mush...peanut butter & jelly sandwiches made of tasteless grayish slices of bread...cardboard flavored fat free milk

 

Medcall...2 stern nurses... behind a trolley 

   - you angry...resentful...anxious...allergic...depressed...suicidal?

   - NO...didn’t do anything ... want to get out

   - you drink?...what...

   - wine...

   - take these...here, Valium...diazepam...thiaminvitamines take them...they are good for you

   - no  sleeping pills?

   - take the Valium or you get noted...

   - Are you part of a gang?

 

...forget what you are, where you are, forget track of time, your mind goes into heavy blurry dreamless sleep despite the ruckus on the floor...diazepam thiamine...vitamins...Sleep like a hung man

   - roll call

   - lights on

   - sit up or stand... face the door

   - what day is it?

white cloudy piss

   - take them

they doubled the dose....the nurse sets her blue eyes on the goblet through the glass steadily... the deputy raises the flash light  to point down your face... she drops the pills into the paper goblet through the slot ...the pills sink...she blinks...the pills vanish... thirstily empty the cup...head backwards...fountain refill...they move on...flush the toilet... 

   - Las toma?

   - Nunca. 

 

Then he covers his head under the blanket...caught changing lanes to freeway Exit in cousin’s mustang...usual suspect... no drivers license... illegal immigrant... under the influence of alcohol...waiting for the migras or spend 5 months locked up or both...

 

...marched 3 nights through Arizona desert for 1600 dollars...party of 6...covered their eyes with mochila when helicopters  searched the  ground with their blazing lights...

   - así ...

he pulls the gray blanket over his face...

   - así ...sobre la cara...la cabeza...no te ven el blanco de los ojos (they won’t see the whites of your eyes)

 

... works at car wash in Roseville for 10 dollars...hour... rents a 400 dollars...month habitacion (room)...has 300 dollars expenses...his girlfriend...makes 1200…declares taxes...well no more...here on 8th floor...maximum security...never let you out... he pulls the blanket over his head...it is his girlfriend’s birthday...he can’t call her ...

 

do pumps...squats...sit-ups...stretching...shadow boxing...Taichi...souvenir of the gulag...3 days no food...Juan begins to look thin...you drink water... lots of it...

   - que me van a hacer

   - 3 felonies, DUI...no papers....

   - es como estar en un tren...el tren corre rapidamente tchutchu tchuuuu y no puedes bajar... el tren se va a parar y vamos a bajar...en un dia... dos... tres... quien sabe... ( it’s like being on a train you know the train will stop and you will be able to get off, one day, two days three days, perhaps)

   - que voy a hacer (what shall I do?)

   - habla con los migras...

 

next day...A nice clean cut functionary...it seems like another well-oiled machine...sits across emaciated Juan...at the mess table...

   - y a donde vamos...

   - a Tijuana...en minivan

relieved Toto nibbles an orange 

   - vamos a platicar

   - platiquemos

each on one side of the bunk bed wrapped by his gray wool prison blanket... cross-legged...the pipe is lacking and the Tequila...

   - quiero volver...

...he is resolved to return & lays out his plan...it is plausible...compared to the 3 dollars an hour he makes in Puerto Vallarta... 10 dollars an hour at a Roseville car wash is gold mining... he will marry his girlfriend, a legal resident... his parents are farmers who raise livestock and grow maize... his brothers work with them on the land...Juan is the youngest of 6 children, all boys... 

 

   - Cholo wake up

   - we’re moving...Pack blankets...towel..

   - Last name

   - …

   - First name

   - No, you don’t want to be there

 

   - hands in pants

   - down the elevator

   - face wall

   - turn

   - ...

   - exit...4th floor...west...

Enter the recreation area...inmates roaming around...

   - Welcome to paradise...

   - what cell?

   - cell #12...

...2 tv screens high above...a clock...a chess game...paper bag basket making...soap...heaps of bars of soap...showers...

   - Welcome to Paradise...

   - cell #12

 

...CLANK...in bottom bunk...he looks like an ancient mummy... his hands folded under his head sticking out from under the blanket...his eyes open wearily...soft timeless eyes...full of never ending love of the world... hurt on earth that no longer belongs to him...his eyes...glowing ...shiny...like a dying dog...You are called Rising Star...his trembling hand...Vietnam war vet... marines...later paratrooper...heavy head wound...alcoholic, beer & chasers, scotch...hard of hearing...Scandinavian wife sent him for battery 3 felonies... 

   - knocked her Indian tribal to pieces...

   - Val?

   - Yeah they call me Val...

...he turns looking around...his hand trembles...

   - she took my hearing aids...someone took them...

   - Val?

   - spent 18 hours in the drunk tank...solitary confinement...they give me drugs...can't eat...

 

...he was delivered in shackles, hand to foot ten days ago...his old skin ripped...72 years in ankle irons, a Navajo Indian...

 

...next day we hurry & wait ...screaming down the corridor like from slaughtered pigs...hurry & wait...judge reduces our felonies to itilizised misdemeanors...

 

clock... count down, stand up lights on, CHOW... food...pill call roll call pill call medications... 

 

shave... rechargeable battery powered pocket sized Remington rotating razors blades... obsequiously disinfected in chemical tub by 2 industrial rubber gloved trustees...haircuts are their specialty...Mexican style...they are proud of their expertise... they will share an extra orange or slice of bread for Val for a joke or a friendly smile...

   - hi neighbor

...lank young meth addict with a black hair lock...

 

   - book  or some paper … 

   - reading Job...

started reading the bible here...believing in IT...in Him... understood immediately... next day he offers two prison pencils, sheet of paper, a smile...

   - you'll get used to it here

   - all youngsters done violence, Coco?

   - Y pues le dí un golpe a un policia porque me habia golpeado. Porque mi madre me díjo que si me golpeaban que dé golpes de vuelta. (I hit a policeman who'd hit me because my mother told me that if someone hit me I should hit back)

 

El Conejo, a Toltec, leading, Guatemala climbing stairs, Granizo, viva Perú, viva Mexico, viva Guatemala...running in circles...in socks... in sharp loops... in counter-loops...through tables...around staircases... viva sudamerica, viva Nicaragua, viva Colombia... turn...accelerate...accelerate…

   - back to your cell, Cholo, back to your cell

   - else, you'll get... solitary...

 

CLANK...Val sitting on his bunk, staring at a peach, bread, milk.

   - Eat.

Val eats. ..He grows thoughtful. ...

   - I feel good. 

   - ...you do?

   - Really good. 

 

 Val your name is Rising Star... your godfather was English ...you carry his name... welder by trade... married for 37 years to a woman from Norway met in London... who now despises you...6 children, 3 girls & 3 boys...yeah...he folds his blanket and towel meticulously as ever...his English upbringing.. .ceremoniously...in anticipation of freedom...

   - hurry & wait

the wait is long ...the sun sets... you wait standing up till midnight  under fluorescent half light when you are both called  to be let out by deputy Lucky.  It is past midnight.

   - How old are you?

 

At 6AM you enter the pool, sit in the sauna from where you observe the ladies doing their ablutions through the foggy window. At 7 they all shuffle off like a gaggle of wet geese...you dive in testing the body sleepless for 56 hours breathing deeply exhaling like wringing a dirty rag... a mile, 2 miles moving in the rhythm of each breath...

 

At 8 the professor enters who undergoes transformation swimming coaching... just learned freedom begins in the water... he laughs like a child swims like a fish happy as a baby.

 

Across the gilded tower bridge lies West Sacramento mercury capital of reputation high crime rate homelessness... meth-labs... your new home on the former Indian burial grounds of thousands of years...

 

….a no star motel...roaches running up the walls blankets with cigarette burn hole bedbugs and mites no money no hope no home

 

We met in Switzerland under a starry sky at the foot of the mountains Les Diablerets, this fantastic playground of old whose demons propelled rocks from its heights at unwary travelers. We strolled  Yehuda Menuhin’s philosophers trail up the river to Gstaad, we sipped from the same sparkling white wine on the Lavaux terraces overlooking the  Geneva lake where we swam with the swans. We visited J.J. Rousseau's abode on the Ile Saint Pierre, we sat beneath the monoliths of Lutry. That was then and there.

 

The devil’s playground here is an ancient burial ground of ancestors whose people are no longer amongst us. Their spirits stir at night and on rainy days when the meth and crack in the back of trailer home and on motel gas stoves are cooking with murderous efficiency under the protection of pit-bulls trained to kill. Crack and meth - the remorseless revenge of the spirits of old – the knue – leaving a trail of blood and violence behind.  Never be vanquished or eliminated by brutal police force alone...you do not capture the spirits good or evil...they just are.... There.

 

Yolo County is a wide stretch of  land along the Sacramento river. Across the river is Sacramento, capital of the state, with its bombastic skyscrapers. It can be reached over the gilded Tower bridge or the I Street bridge leading conveniently to the nearest penitentiary, SAC CO PRISON, looking like a top security 9 floor executive parking garage even from close up.

 

Hi, beautiful morning, I'm out because it’s a beautiful morning, I'm working, isn’t it great to be free and making money on the street, sex and money for free...it's heaven.

 

Yes, heaven for homeless dogs...chihuahua heaven for homeless chihuahuas... happy pitt bull home for abandoned pitt bulls... democratic party handing out handbags u-hu in and by uhu...help or shelter for the homeless women... men... children ? 

   - sorry, none, sir

   - uhum...

 

Pigeons flutter across the setting sun - the most magnificent sunsets in California are in Yolo County, she said.

 

 

© EINAR MOOS

 

*Vallejo, Cesar, El Pan Nuestro, Para Alejandro Gamboa